Over 100 Motorcycles and Still a Moron

[Dabrakeman]

The "duh" thing works both ways.
Dunno how many puzzled looks I get when reaching for non existent gas petcocks or mythical kickers on bikes that never had them.

About 35 years ago I had an "incident" where leisurely cruising down a secondary road I saw ahead of me a car sitting in the oncoming lane waiting to turn left. There was another car on the side street also waiting to turn left onto the road . I remember casually looking down at my odometer and thinking, "oh cool, just recently passed 15k miles". Looked back up and 30 feet in front of me the car in the side street pulled out... Since then I made a note to always be more attentive when riding. One little quirky outcome was that every time I would look at my odometer for any reason while riding I would then do a 360 degree check (not that this was the only time I would do this) which involved noting position of all traffic ahead of and around me, checking both mirrors and looking down the left side of the bike to make sure my kickstand was not down. Still have the superstitious urge to do this little process 35 years later whenever my eyes stroll to the odometer and often catch myself looking down the left side of the bike still for that now impossible kickstand to be down!

 

[Alan F.]

About 35 years ago I had an "incident" where leisurely cruising down a secondary road I saw ahead of me a car sitting in the oncoming lane waiting to turn left. There was another car on the side street also waiting to turn left onto the road . I remember casually looking down at my odometer and thinking, "oh cool, just recently passed 15k miles". Looked back up and 30 feet in front of me the car in the side street pulled out... Since then I made a note to always be more attentive when riding. One little quirky outcome was that every time I would look at my odometer for any reason while riding I would then do a 360 degree check (not that this was the only time I would do this) which involved noting position of all traffic ahead of and around me, checking both mirrors and looking down the left side of the bike to make sure my kickstand was not down. Still have the superstitious urge to do this little process 35 years later whenever my eyes stroll to the odometer and often catch myself looking down the left side of the bike still for that now impossible kickstand to be down!

That's actually a very safe habit to have and I really have to wonder how many bikes in breaker yards with just over XX,000 KM or Miles are there from such a moment of fascination?

 

[kballowe]

Mine lied to me about being in neutral a couple times.
I roll/verify before starting, like it's a kicker so no big deal.
If you're a push the button & hop on later kind of guy, you might be chasing it.

I was gearing up for our annual polar bear ride on a Harley Superglide. Sat on the bike and pulled in the clutch and then hit the starter.... and off it went.
10 degrees F. It appears that I should have used a thinner oil in the primary chaincase.

 

[nmroadrunner]

I'm so old I had motos without kickstand down warning lights...took a cute girl for a ride down a twisty highway, stopped to admire the view, remounted and, you guessed it, leaned into a lefthander, heard a screeching grind about two seconds before the rear wheel broke pavement contact, and we high-sided into the ditch. Wounds included only muffler burn to her leg and massive deflation of my pride, thankfully.
The romance that night was still great.
Been married to her for 36 years.

 

[Overdrive]

Years ago when I was a teenager (in the 70’s) my only transport was an AS1 Yamaha 125 twin, which I’d assembled from boxes of parts and judicious use of the small ads in local newspapers.
After the first few hundred miles, a few attempts at wheelies and even more breakdowns I thought I’d do the right thing and change the gearbox oil. Unfortunately I forgot to tighten the drain plug, which iirc lined up perfectly with the centre of the rear tyre, which is where the new gearbox oil ended up a few days later. The first I knew about it was when my girlfriend’s father moaned about the trail of oil I left on the driveway. I followed it out the drive, and down the very long straight road they lived at the end of. After about half a mile it stopped. I never found the drain bung, but the wine cork I used as a temporary bung, and a litre or so of lawn mower oil worked well enough to get me home.
As a bonus the wine was excellent. Clearing up the drive wasn’t.

 

[Pinball Dave]

I like to think I do my homework. Once an analyst by trade, now retired, I still have a tendency to dive far too deep into research. I did the same thing when I was deciding on the Interceptor. No video unwatched, no article unread. I was well-aware of the minor foibles and oddities that the RE may throw me, which is why I ordered new relays even before taking the bike home. Even if the stock relays are good, I'll keep them for spares. Once home, the first thing I did was rinse all the white grease out and install the new relays with dielectric grease, along with lubing the ignition switch and resetting the battery terminals with dielectric grease, as well. Possible roadside stranding hopefully averted. Then came last Monday.

I was riding the Interceptor down to the P.O. box to get the mail. It's about a half hour jaunt on country roads. Fortunately only one creek crossing. Just part of living in the sticks. The RE handled it with ease and the bike was humming along perfectly. I pull up to the Post Office and go inside to get the mail. Once back outside, I put the mail in the side bags, insert the key, plop my fat arse on the seat, hit the start button, nothing.

"Huh?" I thought. I rechecked the switch gear run switch, reset the key, I hear the FI cycle, hit the button. Nothing. OH CRAP! WTH!? I'm not being forsaken by my new RE 650 am I!? The thought of multiple phone calls and a long walk crossed my mind. Reset everything again, nothing. At first what was panic, now became disappointment. My heart sank. Here I've been singing the praises of "the oldest, continuously operating motorcycle company in the World" to all my friends.....just to be sitting there, forlorn, in a post office parking lot, miles from home.

I pulled my helmet off and walked next door to the public park to use the rest room and gather my wits. How can this be happening? On the way back I was going over the sequence of things in my head. I sat back on the seat, put the key in the ignition, switched it on and off and jiggled it a few times, reset the switch gear red switch, heard the FI cycle, pulled in the clutch, hit the button....nothing. Then it dawned on me....I see no neutral light and the side stand was still down. As Homer Simpson would say, "DOH!!!!!!"

Boy, was I glad that I wasn't riding with a buddy.......

Been there, done that...just yesterday. 5000 miles and 3 years on the RE clock.

 

[Andy 58]

I like to think I do my homework. Once an analyst by trade, now retired, I still have a tendency to dive far too deep into research. I did the same thing when I was deciding on the Interceptor. No video unwatched, no article unread. I was well-aware of the minor foibles and oddities that the RE may throw me, which is why I ordered new relays even before taking the bike home. Even if the stock relays are good, I'll keep them for spares. Once home, the first thing I did was rinse all the white grease out and install the new relays with dielectric grease, along with lubing the ignition switch and resetting the battery terminals with dielectric grease, as well. Possible roadside stranding hopefully averted. Then came last Monday.

I was riding the Interceptor down to the P.O. box to get the mail. It's about a half hour jaunt on country roads. Fortunately only one creek crossing. Just part of living in the sticks. The RE handled it with ease and the bike was humming along perfectly. I pull up to the Post Office and go inside to get the mail. Once back outside, I put the mail in the side bags, insert the key, plop my fat arse on the seat, hit the start button, nothing.

"Huh?" I thought. I rechecked the switch gear run switch, reset the key, I hear the FI cycle, hit the button. Nothing. OH CRAP! WTH!? I'm not being forsaken by my new RE 650 am I!? The thought of multiple phone calls and a long walk crossed my mind. Reset everything again, nothing. At first what was panic, now became disappointment. My heart sank. Here I've been singing the praises of "the oldest, continuously operating motorcycle company in the World" to all my friends.....just to be sitting there, forlorn, in a post office parking lot, miles from home.

I pulled my helmet off and walked next door to the public park to use the rest room and gather my wits. How can this be happening? On the way back I was going over the sequence of things in my head. I sat back on the seat, put the key in the ignition, switched it on and off and jiggled it a few times, reset the switch gear red switch, heard the FI cycle, pulled in the clutch, hit the button....nothing. Then it dawned on me....I see no neutral light and the side stand was still down. As Homer Simpson would say, "DOH!!!!!!"

Boy, was I glad that I wasn't riding with a buddy.......

 

[Andy 58]

I like to think I do my homework. Once an analyst by trade, now retired, I still have a tendency to dive far too deep into research. I did the same thing when I was deciding on the Interceptor. No video unwatched, no article unread. I was well-aware of the minor foibles and oddities that the RE may throw me, which is why I ordered new relays even before taking the bike home. Even if the stock relays are good, I'll keep them for spares. Once home, the first thing I did was rinse all the white grease out and install the new relays with dielectric grease, along with lubing the ignition switch and resetting the battery terminals with dielectric grease, as well. Possible roadside stranding hopefully averted. Then came last Monday.

I was riding the Interceptor down to the P.O. box to get the mail. It's about a half hour jaunt on country roads. Fortunately only one creek crossing. Just part of living in the sticks. The RE handled it with ease and the bike was humming along perfectly. I pull up to the Post Office and go inside to get the mail. Once back outside, I put the mail in the side bags, insert the key, plop my fat arse on the seat, hit the start button, nothing.

"Huh?" I thought. I rechecked the switch gear run switch, reset the key, I hear the FI cycle, hit the button. Nothing. OH CRAP! WTH!? I'm not being forsaken by my new RE 650 am I!? The thought of multiple phone calls and a long walk crossed my mind. Reset everything again, nothing. At first what was panic, now became disappointment. My heart sank. Here I've been singing the praises of "the oldest, continuously operating motorcycle company in the World" to all my friends.....just to be sitting there, forlorn, in a post office parking lot, miles from home.

I pulled my helmet off and walked next door to the public park to use the rest room and gather my wits. How can this be happening? On the way back I was going over the sequence of things in my head. I sat back on the seat, put the key in the ignition, switched it on and off and jiggled it a few times, reset the switch gear red switch, heard the FI cycle, pulled in the clutch, hit the button....nothing. Then it dawned on me....I see no neutral light and the side stand was still down. As Homer Simpson would say, "DOH!!!!!!"

Boy, was I glad that I wasn't riding with a buddy.......

All good brother, just a moment that I'm sure we have all experienced at one time or another. Makes us human.

 

[StefArmstg]

Riding my '59 Harley panhead home for the first time, I stalled it at a light. I put it in neutral, put it on the side stand (it was six times heavier than me), and gave it a kick. I'd owned it about ten minutes, and didn't know the starting drill that well. It backfired, and threw my penny loafer into middle of the intersection. I was nineteen. This greatest day of my life. And then the most embarrassing.